Loneliness is often associated with boredom. Being alone can make us feel completely empty! “What on earth am I going to do with myself?”
The main reason we hate loneliness so much is because it leaves us alone with what we try to avoid most in our daily lives: the negative, unpleasant little voice in our head. Being constantly surrounded and active helps us to reduce its volume. But, when there is nothing to stimulate us, it is that voice that can seem to run the show. Or, for others, it feels more like a blank page: boredom, nothing happening and it’s completely boring.
Avoiding confronting what is said in our minds has definite advantages: we don’t feel what hurts us deeply inside. But, the price we pay for this can be quite high: we let our emotions control us indirectly: anxiety, depression, addiction, lack of self-confidence, conflicting relationships.
WHEN: Timing is the key to change
We may not be ready to face these buried feelings! AND THAT’S OKAY. There is nothing we MUST do, personal development should never be seen as a goal. Timing is an important factor in making personal changes. During a time of emergency or crisis, we may not find the space and energy to work on ourselves.
In order to dig deep into our being, we must feel the desire to grow from our situations and make something positive out of them. Even if this means experiencing painful emotions, we know that what awaits us behind the scenes is priceless: the FREEDOM to be completely ourselves.
So, if you are in a period where you feel you want to know yourself better, how you function and what is most important in your life, you could certainly benefit from solitude.
WHY: The hidden gifts of solitude
- CLARIFYING THOUGHTS: When we are constantly stimulated by people or activities, we cannot have the calmness to understand the emotions and thoughts that are stirring inside us. “Why am I so tense?” “Why am I so aggressive these days?” Isolating ourselves allows us to step back and understand more objectively why we feel and act the way we do.
- RECHARGE THE BATTERIES: Being constantly in ACTION MODE can be exhausting over time, as our minds never learn to truly rest. Some say that’s what sleep is for: but not exactly, not really. Sleeping allows us to rest our bodies, not our minds! We can wake up as stressed and depressed as we went to bed. But when we take the time to do NOTHING but just be, we can deeply recharge our batteries.
- BEING IN CONTROL OF OURSELVES: The more time we take to understand ourselves, the less control our emotions will have over us. Because once we know that emotions cannot break us, we have no reason to fear them. Moreover, this allows us to learn how to choose how to react to them in a more appropriate way EVERY TIME.
- BETTER HANDLING OF CONFLICTUAL SITUATIONS: Instead of reacting impulsively, take a step back from what is being said to you. Not reacting on the spot will help you avoid unnecessary conflict. When emotion is not driving your relationship, communication is easier because everyone is able to hear each other’s opinions without taking things personally.
HOW TO DO IT
THE BEST WAY IS TO MAKE TIME.
We often give the excuse “I don’t have time” when it comes to taking care of ourselves. But the more time passes, the more we realize that if we don’t make a firm decision, time will always be one step ahead! The laziness, the cold, the overwork, will always seem more urgent or attractive than being present for ourselves.
This is why we must PLAN TIME FOR OURSELVES in our daily lives! Organization is essential to ensure that we have time. Loneliness can be illustrated in many different ways, it doesn’t have to be an afternoon of watching TV on our couch. Whether it’s writing in your diary, staying at home to relax or taking a walk in the park: EVERYONE CAN FIND THEIR OWN WAY TO BE ALONE.