It is especially during the period of adolescence that we will ask ourselves a lot of questions, whether it is about our future projects, our professional projects, our desires or our sexual orientation. Indeed, it is at this period that our body starts to undergo changes (puberty) and that we start to have sexual desires.
But first, what is sexual orientation?
It is the sexual and/or emotional attraction we feel for another person. Conversely, when one does not feel sexual attraction, it is called asexuality. Sexual orientation is an integral part of an individual’s life, regardless of culture, background or beliefs.
There are an infinite number of sexual orientations, one for each of us. We are all different from each other, whether it is our tastes, our physical appearance or our values and thoughts, and this is what makes human beings complex. Each person has a different conception of their sexual orientation. Thus, there is not only one, but a plurality.
You have certainly heard of the most “common” sexual orientations as :
- Heterosexuality, which refers to the attraction that a person has for the opposite sex.
- Homosexuality, which refers to the attraction a person has for a person of the same sex.
- Bisexuality, which refers to a person who has an attraction for both sexes.
- Pansexuality which designates a person who loves an individual without consideration to his gender or sex: it is the personality that counts.
- Asexuality which designates a person who does not feel any sexual attraction.
Or still others that we may not hear enough about such as :
- Demisexuality which refers to a person who must experience strong emotional attraction before they can feel sexual attraction.
- Allosexuality which designates a person who experiences sexual attractions that question her and who does not recognize herself in any of the sexual orientations.
Sexual orientation is still a taboo in our society and heterosexuality is still considered the “norm”. However, society continues to evolve every day, so we hope that in some time, it will no longer be a taboo subject!
In order to make their rights heard, sexual minorities have a group called LGBTQI+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transexual, Queer, Intersex and other minorities) which allows them to support each other and make their voices heard. It is thanks to this community that we can now live without hiding our sexual orientation.
You may have questions about your sexual orientation and that’s okay! You should not be afraid of these questions. It is also possible that you don’t recognize yourself in the sexual orientations mentioned, and that’s okay. You don’t have to put yourself in a “box” because every sexual orientation is unique.
In order to get a clearer picture of your sexual orientation
If you have questions, here is an example of a question that can help you to see more clearly:
- Who do I look at most on the street?
- When I watch pornographic movies or other movies, who do I look at the most?
- Who do I think about the most in general?
- Have I ever thought about kissing someone of the same or opposite sex?
- Have I felt sexual attraction to someone of the same or opposite sex?
- Who do I see my future with more?
- For whom do I have the most sexual fantasies?
These are some of the most common questions we can ask ourselves. The important thing to remember is that this is normal and not to be afraid. Most people have questions about their sexual orientation, but don’t necessarily talk about it.
If your questioning becomes too much to bear, if you need help or if you want to talk to someone about it, don’t hesitate to talk about it to someone close to you (friends, family…) that you trust. You can also talk to the school psychologists who are available to listen to you or send a message to the association to get in touch with a psychologist. You can also find out about the LGBT association nearest you.
Some useful links
After these words, I leave you with some internet links that may be useful to you: